White Elephants

When word came of Uncle Earl’s passing, it was the first news we’d had of him in many years. Rumor had it that there had been bad blood between Dad and his elder brother – somehow involving our Mother – ever since our parents married.

It was therefore doubly surprising that Earl left us his powder blue 1960 Cadillac Eldorado Biarritz. The car was simply gorgeous! She had some mechanical problems which kept her from passing inspection. She also sucked gas like a banshee. It cost us money just move her around in the driveway so that our other cars could pass. Irrespective of her color, she came to be known as our ‘white elephant’.

It took me years to understand the connection. ‘White elephant’ seemed somewhat appropriate for a car that had white leather seats; that we would finally end up selling at a ‘white elephant sale’ for a pittance. It was only when I learned a little about India that the true meaning of the allusion dawned on me.

India was at one time divided into princely states, each one ruled by a maharajah who lived in a palace. These palaces were not immune from palace intrigue: people plotting to usurp power and such. To his most formidable opponent, the maharajah would bequeath a white elephant. The expense and care the animal would require was certain to keep the man distracted and drive him to ruin.

President Obama is like one of the maharajahs of old. He is trying to tempt us with universal health care while at the same time promising to clean up the planet of pollution and nuclear weapons (and don’t forget guns). It is the promise of utopia - consisting of a virtual herd of ‘white elephants’ - to which we all feel curiously attracted. It’s designed to keep us distracted and drive us to ruin.

Now you know who has been tagged a threat to the Obama administration.