Beer and Cemeteries

When I was a kid, we used to sneak out at night and break into neighbors’ garages and steal the six-packs they often kept there. Then, we’d head over to the cemetery and got drunk. Pretty straight forward logic, wouldn’t you say? If one or another of the neighbors got wise to what was happening, they’d start locking their garage doors, or they’d simply go out and buy more beer.

Suppose you had a big, shiny Cadillac in your garage. It was your pride and joy and you’d put the top down and take her out only on weekends. You used to keep it parked out front, but some of the kids in the neighborhood would key it; and you kept having to get it repainted.

You eventually found out who did it and pressed charges. Apparently, the kids thought you shouldn’t have the big car. They’d been taught in school that big cars leave an excessive carbon footprint, threatening Samoans and Polar Bears. They promised the judge they’d never do it again. Still, you decided from then on to keep the car locked-up in the garage.

Then, you began to notice little things starting to go wrong with it: the wipers, the radio, the back-up lights. One morning you couldn’t start it at all. (It turns out somebody had poured sugar in the tank.) You kept bringing it back to the dealer to get things fixed. It was costing you a bundle. The dealer just kept fixing stuff and collecting the money. He never let on what he knew to be true: that the car was being deliberately being vandalized.

Finally, you were all set to take her out one fine Sunday afternoon and you got as far as the 7/11 when the engine seized. (Somebody had drained the oil and dumped it in your tomato patch.) This was going to be a big job and cost a lot of money. You started having doubts about the car. You realized that you were actually starting to hate it.

So you decided to get rid of the Cadillac. You didn’t even bother to get her fixed. You just called the junk yard and told them to send a hook. All you got out of it was a couple hundred bucks for scrap. The kids who were sabotaging your car had primed the pump; you yourself would do the rest.

It’s the same thing that’s happened to our economy. It was undermined and deliberately sabotaged so we would end up saying, “Capitalism failed. Bring on the next best thing!” “Besides,” you rationalize further, “the only reason Communism did not work for the Russians is that Russia never had Capitalism to begin with. The only way Communism can work properly is if the people themselves get so disgusted with Capitalism that they curse it and turn against it.”

It’s the way they did Bush/Cheney; and they’re now doing Palin. These good people have been smeared, trashed and demonized to the point where we all said in unison, “Bring on Obama!”

So, whenever you hear someone say (as has been heard often of late) that Capitalism failed; America failed; religion failed; healthcare failed; school system failed; the planet failed; GM failed; banks failed; Bush failed; etc., know it’s not true.

All these are the Cadillacs you’ve been keeping in your garage. They’ve been deliberately sabotaged by the same people, with the same agenda (from your own neighborhood), who erstwhile broke into your garage and stole your beer. While you weren’t looking, they’ve graduated to stealing bigger and better things – your liberties, your comfort; your traditions; your confidence; your future; your success – all, for the eternal glory of Communism – which, incidentally, actually does have an extensive history of failure.

Just look at North Korea, and China bursting at the seams. Though what’s true is true: None of these places ever enjoyed the fruits of Capitalism. Category Error?