Something Doesn't Add Up

Look where we were just two years ago. Bush was playing the role of the ruddy, good-natured fireman in the dunking seat at the local county fair. We all cued up to give it our best shot, hurling projectiles at the big, colorful target that was hard to miss. Over and over, he went down into the tank only to emerge wet and dripping. We gleefully continued to play the game even after the sun had gone down and he was shivering. Some of us took cheap shots, aiming our shoes at his face. How we laughed! It was all in good fun. What else are county fairs for?

Little did we know that it all was to boomerang. Now we are the target. Reading today’s opinion columns in the NYT, we are told we are stupid, small-minded, xenophobes for not embracing - among much else - the mosque at Ground Zero.

The game has artfully turned deadly. We suspect something is very wrong - something is happening which we never expected could happen in our country. Elections still seem an eternity away. Midterms. Shrug. It’s bigger than that. As we learn more and more about Alinsky, Cloward, Piven among others too numerous to mention, it gets downright scary. We’re no longer living a James Bond novel in which Sean Connery can be expected to fight for our side - and win. We are the only side remaining, it seems - all the others are against us.

How did Bush do it? We never suspected we were in this deep s**t. “D’ya miss me yet?” Yes we do, Mr. President. We know you’d have just the right words to say concerning the mosque and all. We know you’d get dunked again for opening your mouth. We now know that your erstwhile enemies are now our enemies. We just wish we’d have a man in The White House who’d feel comfortable inviting someone like Rush to dinner, letting him and his wife sleep in the Lincoln Bedroom for a couple of nights and chew the fat over breakfast. He’d then come back to us and tell us it’s all alright, that there’s a plan - a plan for saving our country.

We’d be quite prepared to sacrifice; to do whatever it takes. We’d rally around the flag until the whole lot of these bastards are defeated. (This includes you, Hillary!) We’d even buy government bonds with what money we’ve got left, and work our fingers to the bone in some rivet factory for the slightest glimmer of light.

What I still can’t understand is the women nowadays. Would they really want to go back to a totally male-dominated society without any rights? Why aren’t they up in arms and at the point of the spear? Can’t they see where it’s going? The military is banned from recruiting on campuses because of ’don’t ask, don’t tell’. Why aren’t Muslim organizations banned from those same campuses for their even greater affronts to human dignity?

No. Something doesn’t add up - doesn’t add up at all.