Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Off The Record (in Brazil)


O – “Like you, I am a Marxist/Socialist. In addition, I am a Muslim – born and bred. I see my job essentially as an opportunity to erase the hegemony of the West in general and America in particular. To this end, we are working to choke off America’s energy supplies. As you may know, America actually does have the world’s most abundant resources of carbon-based fuels within its own borders. We have succeeded in halting oil exploration, drilling, refining, etc. In addition, we have been able to severely restrict coal mining operations by encumbering companies thus engaged with so many government mandated regulations and restrictions; it’s become impossible for operators to maintain profitable margins.

“Additionally, we’ve managed to create instability in the Middle East. It should soon become impossible to procure oil from any of these sources. Also, under our green energy initiative, we have succeeded in creating the perception that the use of carbon-based energy is damaging to the planet. We are now also in the process of banning nuclear energy outright (thank you, Japan).

We have expanded baseline government spending to unprecedented levels, all but insuring the collapse of our currency. In relatively short order you will see severe inflation, shortages and, with it, a rise in civil disturbances. By maintaining a high degree of fiscal uncertainty, we can assure that the powerhouse American economy cannot recover.

“None of this happened overnight, of course. Many brave comrades have worked diligently for many years to break down our network of primary and secondary education as to destroy the people’s ability to engage in critical inquiry. As such, we’ve been able to accomplish much under cover of darkness. My own popularity is still relatively high, even as our systems and institutions are grinding to a halt one by one.

“It must be kept in mind that our efforts are targeted primarily at the West. The East should remain largely unaffected for now. It will be up to my successors to more or less finish the job. In any case, Brazil – and South America in general – should remain relatively unaffected by the change.

“For now, in order to keep up appearances, we have set aside considerable sums for you to develop your oil industry – just to maintain the impression that we are still dealing with the fear Americans have of running out of gas(oline).

D – “I can see some pitfalls in your plan, especially as it pertains to us. Many here see it as yet another attempt by your arrogant nation to reduce us to just another of your Middle Eastern gas stations. It’s a perception of distrust that has built up over many years."

O – “Never mind. Accept the money and do with it what you want. As I said, it’s mainly just to give the impression that we are doing something about energy – to placate the masses, so to speak – while we are turning off the spigots one by one.

“BTW, put in a good word to Hugo, Fidel and the others for me. Do let them know that we’re all on the same page.”

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