The History of the World

You’re missing the point, John. How many times do I have to say it? This is not about Democrats and Republicans. It’s about leadership. Oh, I know that many of us are just cynical enough to aspire to achieving gridlock in Washington. That’s because for so many years we’ve been fed poison. Not eating won’t save us. In the meantime the clock runs down and entropy takes charge. We have so many problems that need to be addressed. Health care, the economy, education, taxation, corruption, immigration. Fires are literally burning all around us. Yet, there’s no one to pick up a bucket.

Meanwhile, as we’re knocking each others’ heads off, our enemies are gathering. Oh, excuse me! Did I say ‘enemies‘? I forgot that we no longer have enemies. I forgot that we’re all just sitting around the old camp fire singing kumbaya. My bad. There’s really no one out there plotting to enslave us, steal our treasure; sever our heads, rape our women, and engage us in their heathen practices. Yes, I said it! In fact, there is no God; no grace; no mercy, no kindness - only the whims of mad men who rise to power by measure of their capacity for cruelty.

I’m writing a new book entitled “The History of the World”. It begins thus:

The modern history of the world begins with Obama. In year one, when Obama was elected, the new and bright era began. Before that there was only chaos, dominated by the scourge of colonialism. Western ideas held sway over a frightened people who saw their prospects diminish as western fortunes grew in equal proportion. Some of the western devils themselves came to realize that this equation was morally bankrupt. They, in conjunction with the most brilliant minds from abroad, began to undermine the most evil nation of them all - the vortex - by agitating from within to bring about its destruction. They succeeded in bringing a Trojan horse into the very center of the pig kingdom. Obama, under false pretense, was installed President of the United States.

Obama succeeded where others failed. He brought the American colossus to its knees. Of course there had been many others who deserve credit for having carefully prepared the ground for him. Hat tip to Mohammed Atta and his gang; hat tip to all the martyrs; hat tip to the American media; hat tip to American education; hat tip to Viagra; hat tip to politicians who knew the value of money; hat tip to Hollywood…

Soon the resistance was broken. Fear and chaos scattered the defenders. Others, seeing the writing on the wall, came running with their white flags, begging to be circumcised…

Pretty good start? Would you not agree?

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